Recently in Games People Play Category

This One's For You

By
Dante
on November 20, 2008 7:15 PM |



Hide in your shell cos the world is out to bleed you for a ride
What will you gain making your life a little longer? 
Heaven or hell, was the journey cold that gave your eyes of steel? 
Shelter behind painting your mind and playing joker

Too frightening to listen to a stranger
Too beautiful to put your pride in danger
Youre waiting for someone to understand you
But youve got demons in your closet
And youre screaming out to stop it
Saying lifes begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you scramble for

Dont let the tears linger on inside now
Cos its sure time you gained control
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know
Well, let me show you the nearest signpost
To get your heartback and on the road
If I can help you, if I can help you
If I can help you, just let me know.

All through the night as you like awake and hold yourself so tight
What do you need, a second-hand-movie-star to tend you? 
I as a boy, I believed the saying the cure for pain was love
How would it be if you could see the world through my eyes? 

Too frightening- the fires getting colder
Too beautiful- to think youre getting older
Youre looking for someone to give an answer.
But what you see is just an illusion
Youre surrounded by confusion
Saying lifes begun to cheat you
Friends are out to beat you
Grab on to what you can scramble for
Dont let teh tears...
... just let me know
I wanna know...
I wanna know you...
Well let me know you
I wanna feel you
I wanna touch you
Please let me near you
Can you hear what Im saying? 
Well Im hoping, Im dreamin, Im prayin
I know what youre thinkin
See what youre seein
Never ever let yourself go

Hold yourself down, hold yourself down
Why dya hold yourself down? 
Why dont you listen, you can
Trust me,
Theres a place I know the way to
A place there is need to feel you
Feel that youre alone
Hear me
I know exactly what youre feelin
Cos all your troubles are whithin you
Please begin to see that Im just bleeding to
Love me, love you
Loving is the way to
Help me, help you
- why must we be so cool, oh so cool,? 
Oh, were such damn fools...

Oh What A Night!

By
Dante
on November 8, 2008 7:27 PM |
I've made my decision. Hello World! I'm back. The last few months have been filled with set backs, but all is good.The die is cast. Tomorrow I am going to make the case to a friend out here for what I want to do and see where it leads. I was made an offer that I've been mulling over and it seems tailor made for me. Fate and Fortuna may yet exist in reality, can religion and spirituality be far behind? The personal issues that have contributed to my hesitancy have been removed. I didn't know for sure whether I wanted to pursue other plans which involved other options and another friend but recent events have forced the issue. No looking back. I will make the offer and then either way I will be moving on. If all goes well late tomorrow I will list what it is I will be attempting to do. 

Follow the bliss.




ENTJ

note: I got a call earlier from a friend who left Arizona for Boston. She was supposed to stop by here on a detour and didn't get the chance. She called me and was in trouble. I called Boston and the problem has been temporarily resolved. The earth truly is flat. Technology has changed things in ways we never thought possible. I take Friedman's thesis seriously on many levels.

The World Is Flat: A Brief History of the Twenty-First Century is an international bestselling book by Thomas L. Friedman, analyzing the progress of globalization with an emphasis on the early 21st century. The title is a metaphor for viewing the world as flat or level in terms of commerce and competition, as in a level playing field--or one where all competitors have an equal opportunity. As the first edition cover indicates, the title also alludes to the historic shifts in perception once people realized the world was not flat, but round and how a similar shift in perception --albeit figurative-- is required if countries, companies and individuals want to remain competitive in a global market where historical, regional and geographical divisions are becoming increasingly irrelevant.

The book was first released in 2005, was later released as an "updated and expanded" edition in 2006, and yet again released with additional updates in 2007 as "further updated and expanded: Release 3.0." The title was derived from a statement by Nandan Nilekani, the former CEO of Infosys.

Thunder & Rain.

By
Dante
on October 31, 2008 5:42 AM |
   For the first time that I am aware of (could've been asleep) there is real rain and thunder outside. I'm delighted that I was awake to experience it. The weather here has been so consistently boring (it's what I bargained for) that it almost grates on my New England nerves. Adjusting to a new weather pattern has been a challenge. I used to love the cold and still love the snow and the change of seasons will be missed, but every bargain has it's price.

   The rain is pitter pattering outside my window and it is soothing. There was a certain calm before the storm that has a synchronicity with my feelings right now about where I am going and what fork in the road to take. My journey out here has for awhile been on a sidetrack and I wouldn't change or trade much about what I've experienced for all the tea in a coffee house (inside joke). The relationships I've developed here have for the most part been healthy. My only regret(s) would be that I am still compartmentalizing my life and it does not serve any useful purpose anymore. I guess I am doing it out of habit. It's part of the baggage I brought with me. Issues of personal boundaries and trust have arisen as I knew they would (just so soon?), and any negative effects/experiences have been minimal and manageable. Being pigeonholed in a one-dimensional image not to my liking, by some people I entrusted with confidences, has been a lesson in remedial education I could live without. I know it's me and not them. I'm finally coming to terms with the idea I will go through the rest of my life puzzled by the pettiness and shallowness of those around me. I will stop trying to figure it all out.

Man has never been in control of anyone or anything in this world--especially not the self. IT is all illusion. That is part of the paradox of life.

go figure

   Here's a thought to ponder:

When we truly allow people into our lives we give them the power to hurt us. Some people use that power; some people abuse it; and some people observe it with an awe that must be like imagining one sees god. Power is a frightful thing in the hands of most who would choose to use it. How we choose to use power of any sort speaks volumes about us as individuals. 

trust me: walking is highly underrated...

I...i am just a number
I...hang on to what I got
You...say what you want to
I...i...i...i just try to stay alive
I...put myself together
People say, get away, somebody will turn you in
Life, life without surrender
Togetherness...ecstasy is what I need
I can laugh, but I should cry
When love and understanding are the ultimate crimes

(and I said) walk it down. talk it down.
(oh, oh, oh) sympathy. luxury.
Somebody will take you there.
Walk it down. talk it down.
(oh, oh, oh) sympathy. luxury.
Somebody will take you there.

She...says she remembers.
Time...long time ago.
We...belong together.
I...i...i...i turn up the radio
Lies, lies and propaganda
I...gonna tell you what I need
Life, life, without surrender
Togetherness...ecstasy is what I need
I got yours and you got mine
And I can swim, but I should fly

Chorus

Aint no crime to believe
I took my money, I bet my life
What you see is what you get
But it sure aint what we need.

--Walk It Down/Talking Heads

Weekend Update.

By
Dante
on October 30, 2008 8:57 PM |
   Here we are and it's the weekend again. Time flies. Tomorrow I head out to the high chaparral with my friend Bob, of the Big Harmonica Infamy. I have a few pretty decent short videos of Bob and his Outsiders group courtesy of Luis's (the POS') New Yorker's camera (of course POS is a term of endearment for any New Yorker worth their sh!t.). I'll post a few clips of BHB & The Outsiders after I get a video or two up on his web site. I'd post a link to Luis, but his paranoia takes precedence over my crappy little blog (his high opinion of my home page). I think there is a photo of both somewhere on my blog(s). Later I'll get around to (re)-publishing photos of the characters in my new life---friend and foe.

   I will be out of touch with the internet(s) for a few days and when I get back I intend to tackle what I've been putting off for awhile---web design.

;/j

d.

A Confederacy Of Dunces...

By
Dante
on October 29, 2008 10:52 AM |
Ain't life a bitch? Issues with ixwebhosting.com & Friends.

So not only do I have issues with playlist.com, and not only is my mac on it's last leg, but my web hosting company is so screwed up I fear I'll be offline again soon...arrrrrgh! Arguing with Russians online or others over the phone who have no power to do anything but placate is not my cuppa tea. I'll leave that to the neurotic brigades among us. Ain't life a bitch?

sigh

And to top it all off I fear I may have lost what was the beginning of a good friendship today. Sh!t happens. Maybe I'll ask Bob the Blues guy here if he wants some new material for lyrics.  

lol


---

oh yeah...and my phone numbers and calls to Charter Communications (my broadband people) are screwed. The perfect storm?

gawd, If I hadn't been through crap before I'd think the gods were conspiring against me...

...oh fortuna!!!!!


---

I CAN'T BELIEVE THEY HAVE THIS TUNE ON YOUTUBE!!!  FRIGGIN' WONDERFUL FOR THE MOOD AND THE JOURNEY THAT IS MY BLISS!

Summer, fall, winter, spring 
Of the seasons I will sing 
To help you through your birth 
As you spend your time on earth 
In the wind 

The summer song won't last long 
When this warm old man has come 
I'll sing you of your birth 
As you spend your time on earth 
In the wind 

And so it goes 
As the wind blows 
The seasons will flow 
To help you through your birth 
As you spend your time on earth 
In the wind 

A mother's child 
A father's son 
In this crowd, I'm only one 
To tell you of your worth 
As you spend your time on earth 
In the wind 

And so it goes 
As the wind blows 
And so it goes 
As the wind blows

Medical Blues

By
Dante
on October 28, 2008 8:34 AM |
Here I am slightly more than two months into living here in Long Beach and I am finally getting my dental/medical house in order. For somebody who expected to hit the ground running like I did, and who did loads of preplanning before making the move, like I did---this has all been a painful experience. Must everything associated with California become a lesson in patience? From crossing the streets...with the light...to having people live up to expectations and promises has been full of lessons in patience and more.

the journey continues...

except WTF happened to my bliss?!

;/)

d.

-----

off to the dentist

I'll log in later with some info on what I am up to.

Good News...not so random, random thoughts.

By
Dante
on October 26, 2008 9:09 AM |
   The good news is that I've been getting hit with a few doubts and some new anxiety about my move---about following my bliss. Why is that good news? Because it means I am looking deep into my own soul and mind and playing with healthy reality/perceptual checks in ways I thought I'd lost the ability to do. The last 18-19 years have been a long journey with a fair share of dark days. My survival skills were put to the test and here I am. I did IT may way. And I won. I am here.

   For too long I had put things aside. I did this because at one time that was necessary for my survival. Life had put far too much on my plate for me to handle in the ways I was equipped to. But like most everything else it became a case of out of site out of mind. The time came a few years ago to move on. The last decade of my life has been a journey in self-awareness This is not to say self-awareness was foreign to me---it was not. But I am always surprised that there are so many levels to explore. IT defies mine, and certainly the average imaginations.

   I've always been cognizant of the fact that many of the decisions I made were decisions acted out in ways that defied an interest in self-preservation. Self destructiveness had (and has) it's twisted charms, and the allure of the of control (false sense, but control nonetheless) it brought me was addictive. I got high from being self-destructive and it was on a very primal level an awesome thing to experience.


---

more on this later

it is now 9:33 AM and I have already taken a long walk along the water front.

d.





and I did not miss ms. eel kravirtz's comment from yesterday. eel, is an e-pal who charmed me as much as I charmed the boards a few years ago. I'd use her real name excepting we know what those stalkers who keep IP addresses and d-files are like.

tff

; / j

d.
Main Index | Archives | Movin' On »

Search

About this Archive

This page is a archive of recent entries in the Games People Play category.

Movin' On is the next category.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.